"Stop! No Hugging!"And my wife said,
"I can hug him, he's my husband."And my daughter said,
"No, my husband!"
And my wife hugged me harder and said,
"My husband."And my daughter stamped her feet and made a fist in the air and screamed like a battle cry,
"MY HUSBAND!"And then she jumped on me and grabbed my head like she was going to try and twist it off.
"MINE! MINE! MINE!"You'd think my wife backed down at this point, but I'm sorry to say the back-and-forth continued to escalate, with me stuck in the middle.
Finally, I said,
"I'm gonna go get a sandwich and watch TV,"and worked at extricating myself from my two grasping women. But then my wife let go of me, as though realizing what she was fighting over, and said to Addison,
"Fine, you can have him."But my daughter only wants things she can't have. So she said,
"I don't want him eaver."And Addison climbed into her mom's lap and they read a book together. And I shrugged and got a sandwich.
* I worked out most of this post in the comments section of a Crappy Pictures post. Since then, we've gone to three family reunions, and Addison is really starting to think about family relationships. She points to Gramps and says, "You mama's dad!" And she's right. And she points to herself and says, "I'm a pirate!" Right again, kiddo. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.