Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Everyone wants me for a husband

My wife gave me a hug the other day and my two-year old put her hands in the air and said,
"Stop! No Hugging!"
And my wife said,
"I can hug him, he's my husband."
And my daughter said,
"No, my husband!"

And my wife hugged me harder and said,
"My husband."
And my daughter stamped her feet and made a fist in the air and screamed like a battle cry,

And then she jumped on me and grabbed my head like she was going to try and twist it off.
You'd think my wife backed down at this point, but I'm sorry to say the back-and-forth continued to escalate, with me stuck in the middle.

Finally, I said,
"I'm gonna go get a sandwich and watch TV," 
and worked at extricating myself from my two grasping women. But then my wife let go of me, as though realizing what she was fighting over, and said to Addison,
"Fine, you can have him."
But my daughter only wants things she can't have. So she said,
"I don't want him eaver."
And Addison climbed into her mom's lap and they read a book together. And I shrugged and got a sandwich.

* I worked out most of this post in the comments section of a Crappy Pictures post. Since then, we've gone to three family reunions, and Addison is really starting to think about family relationships. She points to Gramps and says, "You mama's dad!" And she's right. And she points to herself and says, "I'm a pirate!" Right again, kiddo. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.


  1. That's adorable. I have to share that with Peter; instead of making a sandwich, you can bet that he would egg us on

    1. It's all fun and games until someone gets their neck broken in an inadvertant Jason Bourne move from your toddler.

  2. Are you sure Addison is only ONE PART "bitey alien parasite"? It sure seems like more to me.

  3. At first, this reminded me of when my kids liked me. But sadly, I realize now, they probably never liked me. *sad trombone*

    1. Or they did like you a lot, deep down, but kept it hidden so that they wouldn't make their friends jealous.

      Seriously, I bet they like you

  4. My daughter & I had this exact conversation over my husband not a month ago. He left the room so we could duke it out. It took me ten minutes before I realized I was fighting with a three-year-old redhead. Sigh...

    1. There's something kinda flattering about it, until you remember what happens to the wish-bone when they pull too hard . . .