Wednesday, February 6, 2013

My daughter's hair and my new artistic medium


I did it. I took the (mostly) final step in cutting my daughter's hair. You'll recall that I took a big first step, snipping those wispy golden locks shorter than pigtail length, a cause for much weeping and gnashing of teeth around these parts (just kidding, Grammy, I know you're supportive of my visionary artistic efforts). And I basically liked it, but I just kept wondering: did I chicken out? Should I have gone all the way? I mean, what I ended up with wasn't exactly the Audrey Hepburn cut I'd been envisioning. It ended up more Twiggy than anything else, which is okay, I guess. I'd stopped short because I wanted to give everyone a chance to get used to moderately short hair (Addison was fine with it; I'm talking about everyone else) before I got to honest-to-goodness really short hair. Also, I was kind of doubting my abilities. But I just kept looking at her hair and wondering what the next step would be.

So I finally bit the bullet. I decided that I'd better get it out of my system before she gets too much older and people make fun of her for a ridiculous, she-did-it-herself haircut. At almost-three, her peers couldn't care less what her hair looks like, so it's the ideal time for experimentation. I'm pretty committed to cutting her hair for the next ten years, or however long it takes for her to decide that I'm ruining her life. But maybe, if I can get good enough, she'll let me cut it until we kick her out of the house. I'm doing a quick calculation with a google search and . . . wait a minute . . . HOLY CRAP.

Are there women out there routinely paying upwards of $100 to get their hair done? 

Okay, so if she got the cheapest $20 cut every two months until she was 18, that would be . . . $1800. But if she went high-end, we're talking $10,000, or more! I am a freaking hero. I'm gonna go tell Lindsay I just earned us $10,000, and see if she lets me play parent-hooky tonight and go see a movie at the dollar theater.

So, at the first public unveiling of my kid's new 'do, my wife was immediately asked by our friend, "So, did Addison cut her own hair this week?" And Lindsay sort of gleefully replied, "No, but I'll tell Neal you said that!"

It's fine, I don't feel bad. I knew what the risks were. And it certainly wasn't a perfect cut. I can look from every angle and see something I should have done differently, something I should have smoothed out or cut less aggressively. But no big deal. Another month, and I can fix that stuff right up (crossing my fingers). Here are some cherry-picked photos using some filters to mask mistakes. I gotta admit that some of the time now her hair just looks weird, but in these photos, doesn't she look kinda edgy and punk-rock?


15 comments:

  1. She is so cute. Around here, kid's cuts are 15 and bangs are 6. I haven't ever paid $100 for a haircut and I splurge on mine because I do think a woman's hair is hard to get right.

    Also I had pixie home cut hair until college and truthfully it scarred me (ok maybe I'm a wee over dramatic). I'm sure Addison will be much more assertive than me ;)

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    1. First, Emily, I would kill to see pics of that cut!

      Second, yeah, Neal's numbers are way too high. I probably get my hair cut max twice a year and probably the most I have ever paid is about $15. Unless you count the one time my mom made me go to a real salon in a desperate attempt to have me look presentable. Glad she gave up on that.

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    2. To sum up, based on my calculations you've saved us much less so no dollar movie for you. However, if you take up the challenge to cut MY hair too, then we're talking!

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    3. Lindsay, the fact that after my inexpert cuts of Addison's hair you still want me to cut yours undercuts the idea that you have any idea what an average woman would do. I mean, I like you the way you are...but nobody's coming to you for haircut advice.

      And Emily, I want to see those cuts, too. And maybe if I offer Addison a cut of the savings, we can avoid her being traumatized.

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    4. Hahaha, I have to admit I'm siding with Neal--no WAY would Peter EVER cut my hair.

      Those pictures have all been burned!! But in the interest of....science....I will see if I can resurrect one.

      Also, to disclose even more, we moved a lot as a kid. And every time we moved somewhere new, kids thought I was a boy. As a shy introvert, it was the worst! That being said, Addison has a much more feminine face and I would love if she had an entrepreneurial spirit to take full advantage of the halfsies offer.

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    5. I knew science would motivate you...

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  2. We have boys, so I have no real input to offer, except that we save a billion dollars a year because Daddy cuts their hair at home. Three boys + a haircut a month each + whatever it costs to cut little boys' hair = a billion dollars a year saved.

    I've always been good at math.

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    1. That math makes sense to me. And, based on those savings, seems like y'all might be able to quit your jobs and live the good life.

      But yeah, especially with having lots of kids, I can see how haircuts could bankrupt you.

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  3. I can see where you were trying to go with it. I've messed up with home cuts too... I gave in and went to fantastic SAMs which was pretty reasonable and also quick. I am not going to be wielding the scissors again any time soon.

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    1. I will not back down! I will not give in! Practice makes perfect, right? Right? Sooner or later, I'm going to get it right.

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  4. This made me laugh. It's uncanny how much you remind me of my husband... Lol. His thing was to give our kids "British new wave". Imagine a 3 year old trying to understand that. Or "avant-garde" :) but he persevered and got pretty good at "3 year old girl bob with short bangs". Now we have a little girl with autism and she has some unique hair issues. Lets just say a punk rock hairstyle is in her very near future :) I like your blog.

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    1. Don't know how I missed responding to this, Sophie.

      I totally get your husband. Unfortunately, it's also hard to explain "British new wave" or "avant-garde" to grandparents. They seem the hardest to sell on it in my experience.

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. I like the Twiggy look! She looks adorable. I had a very short haircut (a la haircut number 2 above) until I asserted myself in the fourth grade and grew it out. The reason for my assertion? One man at my church who called me "little boy" or "son" for YEARS, despite my smocked dresses and lacy socks. If you hear anyone call her that repeatedly (possibly on a weekly basis), ask her if she wants out of the super short look. To be fair to my mother, it did give me a boldness about my hair (sometimes growing it out very long, sometimes lopping it all off- depending on my mood) that few others have. It's just hair. :)

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    1. Lauren, if someone insists on saying that to my daughter, over and over, I'll ask her if she wants to change. First, though, I might stick a screwdriver in that guy's tires.

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  6. I actually like both the "Twiggy" and the "New Wave" cuts. With the photos you've posted of this one I can just see her putting out an album when she's 20.

    As for hair cut prices, yes, I have heard of those astronomical and ludicrous prices - and people paying them! Me, I love living in a relatively low socio-economic area - I go to one of the $10 places for a basic trim. And when I live in other locations I go to a barber because they are less likely to try adding an illegal "gender fee" (yeah, yeah, they say it's because women are fussier about their hair so it takes longer but that's twaddle; my hair is faster to cut than my husband's).

    My mum cut the hair of everyone in the family for years. She started with simply straight across the bottom at the back and fringe at the front plus trimming Dad's hair. I think the first time I went to a professional was when I was about 9 years old and my sisters were teenagers. After those cuts Mum did follow-up trims.

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