Saturday, June 1, 2013

Deadlines, chuckle monkeys, frugal vs. cheap, and relational aggression


The last installment of conversations from recent memory, which I first recorded on my Facebook page. Since Addison and Lindsay are out of town for three weeks, and Addison mostly refuses to talk to me on the phone except to shout "Pickleweasel!", it'll probably be a couple weeks before I have more conversations to share.
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It's been a while since I recorded one of my daughter's conversations about death, which are a daily occurrence. Here's the latest, this one overheard between Addison and my wife: 
Addison: Daddy needs to come eat with us. I will go tell him: If you don't eat, you will die! 
Lindsay: Well, daddy can't come down right now. He's working. He has a deadline. 
Addison [gasp]: A DEADLINE?! 
I wonder how many other common words there are that include "dead" that I don't even think twice about, but that my daughter probably hears as dire proclamations.
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One of the games I've played with Addison since she was maybe a year old is offering silly versions of words to see if she can tell when a word is real or not. As she's gotten older, she's gotten tired of my endless stream of nonsense. But once I got into the habit, I couldn't stop offering fun sounding words in her presence, especially since she finds it so immature. The other night, I was repeating "chuckle monkeys" over and over, trying to catch her attention.

Me: Are you ignoring me?

Addison (concentrating on her dinner): ...

Me: I said, are you ignoring me?

Addison (still not looking at me): Yes.

Me: Is that nice?

Addison (blithely): Yes.

Me (raising my eyebrow in mock severity): Is it?

Addison (finally looking me in the eye): Well, you were saying silly words. And also, when you said that silly word, mama started saying a silly word too. So I was anoring you.

Me: You know that silly words are one of my favorite things in the world?

Addison (sighing): Yeah, I know. But they are way too silly. Sorry.

Sorry back at ya, kiddo. I'm pretty sure I'll still be breaking out new ones for the first date she brings home. I'm looking forward to it.
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Addison, talking to her Gramps: 
Addison: We are fwoogal. 
Gramps: You are a noodle? 
Addison: Eff. It starts with a eff.  
Gramps: Feudal? 
Addison: Fwoo-Gal. Fwoogal. 
Me: Frugal. 
Addison: Yeah, fwoogal. 
Gramps: Do you know what that means? 
Addison: Yeah. 
Gramps: What? 
Addison: I don't know. But you are fwoogal, and mama is fwoogal, and daddy is fwoogal, and grammy is fwoogal. 
Gramps: It means we're cheap. 
Me: No, frugal and cheap are not the same thing. 
Addison: Yes, yes they are. 
Frugal and cheap are NOT the same thing. I am both of them, I admit it. But I'm just trying to teach her the frugal part. I wonder if that means I have to teach her what money is first.
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My threenager, giving her mother a hard time: 
Addison: If you push me, I will push you back. 
Lindsay: I would never push you! That's not nice. 
Addison: I'm just warning you... 
Lindsay: You guys, stop ganging up on me. 
Addison (mis-hearing her mom): Sorry, we HAVE to. See? Beep! We are hanging up on you! 
Listen to that sass. We're gonna try to put the kaibosh down on the relational aggression and just keep things at good ol' aggression.

5 comments:

  1. These are even funnier now that I get to see her in action. :) She really is something!

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    1. I know! I bet some people think I make this stuff up. But that kid's 100% authentic.

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  2. She's so funny. Kids say some interesting things when you stop to listen.

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  3. Of course, the 'dead' in 'deadline' stems from a literal meaning - "a line drawn around a prison beyond which prisoners were liable to be shot" is a meaning that seems to be in most modern English dictionaries but I think I also read somewhere (can't find it now so don't quote me) that the time thing came in with respect to battle lines - anyone crossing an encampment's boundary after a certain time was probably an enemy or traitor who should be shot.

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