Monday, January 28, 2013

Facebook Monday: My morbid kid and her picky eating

On the Facebook Page this week, I recorded several conversations with my daughter involving how delightful it is to try to feed her (also, see here, here and here), and one in which she seems to be channeling something from the spate of horror movies lately involving creepy kids (you guessed it, I've written about this stuff before, too). Here's one feeding excerpt, and one sleep-with-one-eye-open excerpt:

I don't yike peas. They are not yummy to me. They're green. I don't yike green. 
Me: Then what DO you like? 
Addison (listing on her fingers): I like pink, yellow, purple, and blue. I only want good ones. No broken ones. 
Meanwhile, her cousin shovels everything placed in front of her into her mouth, kind of like that story of the Chinese brothers and the one who swallows the sea.

Addison (screamed): Dad! I need help! 
Me (rushing to her room): What? What?! 
Addison (holding up her baby doll and a ribbon): I need to hang my baby. 
I stare at her for a minute. 
Me: What?
Addison: I need to hang my baby with this ribbon. So it swings. 
Me: Why? 
Addison: I want it to swing. Can you tie this around her neck? 
Me: No. I can't. I'm sorry. 
Addison: Please? I need to hang her. 
I stare at her some more. I sigh. 
Me: Can I tie the ribbon around her waist? 
Addison (grudgingly): Okay. Just tie it around her waist. 
I tie it around the baby doll's waist. 
Addison: Thanks for hanging my baby, Daddy! Now I can swing it!


  1. When my daughter wasn't getting an adequate response to her stripping her dolls and announcing "it's naked," she started stripping herself and announcing "I'm naked!"

    1. I wonder how she'll try to escalate it next.

  2. Hi Neal,

    The Five Chinese Brothers! I haven't thought about that book since I was a child. After being reminded of it I went to YouTube and found a video of someone reading it. For some reason, he injected a pretty offensive accent when reading the dialogue. Anyway, I remembered the pictures, but I had completely forgotten the story. Why did I like it as a child? It's a horrible story! LOL

    I enjoyed the "sleep-with-one-eye-open excerpt." I can't believe that your refusal to hang the doll by the neck wasn't met with a "Why?"

    1. Ray, I always thought the story was a little weird, too. Even with only imagined voices in my head.

      But, when you read every book you own about 1500 times, you hit even the bottom of the barrel sooner or later. I usually gloss over the part about the kid drowning in the ocean.