Monday, February 11, 2013

On feats of strength and not recognizing money

We celebrated Addison's third birthday with family over the weekend. The morning of the party, Lindsay gave me a scolding for not being enthusiastic enough about the party plans (which is silly, by the way, because I was surly when she married me. My baseline attitude should not be a surprise). Addison heard a few key phrases and then pointed at me and repeated them cheerfully:
Addison: You're making it stupid! My birthday party! You're making it stupid!
Hey, we're making memories here, right? Does it matter whether they're good ones or bad ones? Also, I'd like to emphasize, for future arguments' sake, that she did not learn "stupid" from me.

The theme for the party was "Feats of Strength," after the Seinfeld bit on Festivus. Though you might have expected it from me, the "feats of strength" theme was actually my wife's idea. During the years in which she was bedridden, it was re-runs of Seinfeld that kept her afloat. And though at a certain point both Grammy and Gramps lay gasping on the floor, moaning in pain, everyone still seemed to enjoy themselves. After all, what fun is an athletic event in which no one pulls up gasping, clutching a limb? Thanks for taking a hit for the team, Sharon and Steve.

It's not a party 'till I break out the pull-up bar
Let me just note that Addison performed a standing long jump of 22 inches. Nice job, kid. This was the "feat of strength" that I was most excited about, because I knew I could win. 98.5 inches, baby. That's only two feet shorter than the biggest, fattest dudes in the NFL combine. Next year, I'm goin' pro.

After the kids had worked up a sweat (Push it! Feel the burn!), we finally let Addison open her presents. The highlight was when her cousins gave her a package holding three dollar bills to represent her three years of life, to which she exclaimed:
Addison: Wow! Tickets!
So, our three-year-old doesn't actually know what money is. It kind of surprised us, too, but I'm pretty okay with that.

Note Gramps still cradling his useless arm in the background.