Tuesday, March 5, 2013

On being a potty mouth

Addison has been aware of the difference between boys and girls for quite some time now. And almost 100% of the time, we're glad that we taught her accurate words for body parts. In addition to the fact that most euphemisms sound really silly, we liked the idea that it could be protective tool for her to be able to express ownership over her body, and to reliably communicate in the event that (heaven forbid) she ever ended up in an abusive situation.

However, when kids become comfortable talking about bodies you gotta accept that you're gonna end up in situations like this one, which I wrote about on my Facebook Page:

I'm sure there's something Freudian to say about the way even children observe the world and find phalli (yes, phalli is in fact the plural form. I looked it up) in unexpected places. But I don't have anything more to say about that. Just this one further story:

At church two weeks ago, there was a certain respected, high-ranking official who walked into the bathroom just as I was bringing my three-year-old in to use the potty. He walked over to the urinal as I ushered my daughter into a stall.

We finished up and got out as fast as we could, never making eye contact with the other dude. For better or worse, I have a (literally) potty-mouthed kid. My wife says it's just as bad when she goes to the women's restroom; the kid narrates every sound in the place. Probably our next lesson needs to be about judging people silently, as the rest of us do. In that most vulnerable of places, the restroom, you can think all you want, but you keep your mouth shut. Imagine sitting in a stall doing your business, only to hear a tiny voice giggling in the next stall over, "I heared a toot! Someone is doing a poopie! They need to wash their hands!" Hope you don't have performance anxiety.