Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Arachnophobia


I'm currently working on an essay about singing songs with my daughter, but it turns out that writing essays is a lot like work, and I don't always feel like working after a full day of parks and library trips and digging holes in the lawn. I'm kinda excited to get another polished essay completed, but it's that sort of excitement that comes from imagining the future, not the sort of excitement that comes from wanting to get started on something RIGHT NOW. In the meantime, here's some fun exchanges between Addison and I from the past week, as seen on The Facebook Page:

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We were digging out a crack (we're always digging something, over here) next to the foundation of the house in preparation to pour new concrete, and an evil looking spider comes out. I mash it with my gloved hand before it can get to Addison, and Addison says: 
Addison: "I glad you got that spider. I am a little shy to spiders."
Me: "I kinda am, too. But spiders can be good, too, because they eat other bugs that we don't want in our house."

Addison (echoing the first conversation we ever had with spiders): "Yeah, because some spiders are good. But some spiders are BITE!"

Suddenly a bunch of baby spiders bursts out of the crack.

Addison: "Ooh. Baby spiders! They are so cute!"

Which was the opposite of my reaction. No, I didn't kill them all. Also, I managed to not scream like a little girl. We took a break and went somewhere else for a while.

My three-year-old might be braver than I am. Which is cool. But if she brings back a nest of spider eggs to hatch cute little spider babies, I'm probably gonna have to give her away.


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Just as we were about to leave for church, Addison found some lotion, squirted about ten dollops into her hands, and then smoothed it all back into her hair. Why? 
Addison: "Because that's what Ursula does in The Little Mermaid." 
Damn you, Ursula. Now we're trying to explain to Addison that Ursula was using hair gel. And now we have to go buy hair gel to make sure she understands the difference. And then I'll probably be forced to style the kid's hair...

Though I probably wasn't as bothered as Lindsay was. She pointed at Addison, and then she pointed at me, and said, "Both of you! Stop trying to get us out of going to church. I mean it!" I think she was serious.

In other Little Mermaid hair news, Addison was observed heading for Lindsay with a fork in her hand:

Addison: "I'm going to brush your hair with this fork. Hold still. It will hurt a little bit."


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While watching Oliver and Company as a family today: 
Addison: Why that dog helping that man? 
Me: Well, because they're a team. They're using teamwork. 
Addison: Oh, teamwork. 
Me: Yeah, because they're a family. 
Addison: Like us! And we do teamwork to do poops! 'Cause we're a family! 
Me: Um. Yeah. I suppose so. 
Addison: Teamwork! 
I'm okay with the definition of teamwork for the moment, but clearly we need to create some new "teamwork" experiences.

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Just before we're about to go do some digging in the yard, I hear Addison shouting for help from the bathroom. Which is not usually a good sign. I walk in and she's kicked the stool over and is hanging onto the counter with her feet dangling. 
Addison: I got stucked. 
Me (folding arms): Hmm. This is a predicament. 
Addison (urgently): You need to help me. 
Me: This might be too tricky for me. Should I call the fire department?

Addison: No. Just lift me down.

Me: With my tiny little arms?

Addison: You do not have tiny arms. They are so BIG!

Me: That's nice of you to say. I guess I'll give it a try.

I lift her down and then notice the toothpaste smeared on the counter.

Addison: Also, I opened the toothpaste for you.

Me (sadly): I see.

Addison: That's because I am helpful and I very love you.

Me (sighing): I love you too. Let's clean this up before mom gets home.

Addison (nodding soberly): She would not like this so much.
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3 comments:

  1. Aren't "blog" and "polished essay" antithetical? I hear you, I have so many great ideas but just can seem to find the time to get something together, so I post a couple of funny pictures and call it a day.

    You know what, Neal? For one of your posts, I'll wait.

    The baby spiders thing is really funny, and by really funny I mean CREEPY...

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    1. Bill, they don't often go hand-in-hand, it's true. But I'm an essayist at heart. Whether my essays end up good enough to justify all the time is probably another question altogether, but I still wish I had more time to spend crafting stuff.

      Thanks for your encouragement, even so! And sometimes funny and creepy go BEST hand-in-hand.

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